You are the best and don't you forget it!!!!

The Bible says that the sins of the father's will be passed on to even the third and fourth generation. I used to wonder about what that meant exactly and I have come to think that it means that the mistakes that parents make with their children are passed on for generations. When studying to be a teacher I was taught that the parenting skills you have are the same ones that your parents used on you. I know the mistakes are for sure.

When you marry someone, your partner mediates your parenting style, but it is generations before things are completely changed. Pop was under constant critism and cold rejection all his life from his dad in an attempt to "make him a better person" I got the same to some degree from my mom. Unfortunately we passed that along to you and Paul. It is a tragic error as pop and I love(d) you and Paul more than life itself. As hard as it is to do, please try to absorb the fact that I KNOW that pop loved you as a natural daughter and thought of you that way. I KNOW that he was extremely proud of you and thought you could do anything. He was always bragging on you to others and to me.

Pop was also expected to give a lot of attention to his mom all his life and he did that until the day he died. Between his family, our family and work I think pop lived under a lot of stress. Fishing and golfing (and drinking for a time) were outlets to relieve that stress, but took time away from you and Paul. Driving so far daily and teaching 30 to 100 kids a day did not leave me in much shape to be a good parent either. So there you have it....sins of the parents that we passed on. I have thought so many times that I would love to have a clock to rewind back to you children's preschool times and to redo, but that is impossible. Pop cannot change anything, but hopefully I can show you both how much I love you until I am gone.

I cannot believe that you are hard to live with. You are smarter than a person has a right to be (gifted according to GISD), loving, sweet,creative and a born peacemaker. Those are precious traits not found in many folks. All marriages suffer from stresses from time to time (made worse by the addition of money worries, children, health issues, etc) but recalling what you loved about the person in the first place helps. Getting away to re-honeymoon a couple of days helps. Saying you are right and I was wrong, even if you know that is not the way it is, and then forgetting the disagreement helps.

Remember that I love you and am always here for you and that I do not even pretent to be neutral, I am always in YOUR corner.