Friday Afternoon

The cooking class was so much fun and I know that I will be taking more classes. Learned a lot about rice cooking and three wonderful rice dishes to eat and learn to make. What a deal! (Spring rolls with peanut sauce, shrimp risotto, and rice pudding with strawberries)

I also got my new iris from Schribner's , so you know what I will be doing in the morning. I can't wait to see the beds in spring.

I also got a new quilt magazine, so there are many goodies today in my life. Hope you are having the same kind of day, sweet girl of mine.

Friday Chat

I too got the Oakes catalog, but have not looked through it yet. I have so much prep work to do in the yard that I do not want to be tempted.

I am going to a cooking class with a friend today at noon and then other than my Bible class and twice monthly quilt meetings have the month of September open. I hope to use much of that time to get the yard into a pleasing-to-me condition. I do want to add more shrubs and just overall neaten up things. I continue to battle kudzu and it would be hard for me to express how much I hate that plant.

I have gotten rid of the big TV in the guest room and have picked up some paint chips and am mulling around some ideas to repaint and redo that room. I am planning to repaint the bathroom off the hall too and redo curtains and shower curtain. I would love to have the carpet up and have the room re-tiled and may check into the price of doing that. The office and hall are two more rooms that must be repainted and redone, especially the office. I am ready to make it mine and get rid of all the masculine pictures and things. Especially those bass fish from mamma and pappaw! I have lots of plans and hope that my energy and pocket book allow me to do them. We will see, one project at a time.

The bike sounds like a wonderful idea. Your area is a nice one to bike around in. I wish that I had gotten going on that years ago and kept it up as it is wonderful exercise. Do you have a type of bicycle in mind?

I am real tempted to look into getting a labradoodle. The gal that trains them for the blind says that they are so sweet and that the lab/poodle mix eliminates the shedding problems for the most part of the lab. Molly is so neat with her potty habits that it is never necessary to pick up stuff in the yard, which it would be with a lab. She is also so careful around the yard, that there is not a problem with her and the flowers. I am not sure that a lab would do that. Those are the down side of getting a second dog, not to mention the vet costs, so I am not going to rush into anything.

Hope you enjoy your weekend. I am assuming that you get a long one like most folks do.

Thanks!

Thanks for the post. Thanks for talking. Thanks for listening. Thanks for giving some insight. You were always fond of saying that when you have kids, you don't get a manual. I've come to realize you don't really get a manual for much of any part of life and when you hit a bump in the road, there aren't any guardrails. Wow. How's that for a mixed metaphor? No one seems to tell you what to expect as you hit some of life's milestones and boy, perspective can get really skewed. To repeat what I said--you begin to wonder if the world is crazy or you're crazy. Marriage can be pretty tough especially on women who are expected, or self-driven, to balance both people perfectly.

I think you're probably right about it being stress. I certainly have a habit of misdirecting stress at other people or situations. However, the weather is getting gorgeous again and I think I can direct a lot of that at tackling some of the heavy labor jobs that need to be done at the house. So onwards and upwards.

I got a new Oaks Daylilies catalog today and I think I may go hogwild and order some things to plant this fall. I have a bunch to divide and plan on tackling that this weekend. I think I may also go shopping for a bike and see about finding something to do just for me. How about you? Big plans this weekend?

You are the best and don't you forget it!!!!

The Bible says that the sins of the father's will be passed on to even the third and fourth generation. I used to wonder about what that meant exactly and I have come to think that it means that the mistakes that parents make with their children are passed on for generations. When studying to be a teacher I was taught that the parenting skills you have are the same ones that your parents used on you. I know the mistakes are for sure.

When you marry someone, your partner mediates your parenting style, but it is generations before things are completely changed. Pop was under constant critism and cold rejection all his life from his dad in an attempt to "make him a better person" I got the same to some degree from my mom. Unfortunately we passed that along to you and Paul. It is a tragic error as pop and I love(d) you and Paul more than life itself. As hard as it is to do, please try to absorb the fact that I KNOW that pop loved you as a natural daughter and thought of you that way. I KNOW that he was extremely proud of you and thought you could do anything. He was always bragging on you to others and to me.

Pop was also expected to give a lot of attention to his mom all his life and he did that until the day he died. Between his family, our family and work I think pop lived under a lot of stress. Fishing and golfing (and drinking for a time) were outlets to relieve that stress, but took time away from you and Paul. Driving so far daily and teaching 30 to 100 kids a day did not leave me in much shape to be a good parent either. So there you have it....sins of the parents that we passed on. I have thought so many times that I would love to have a clock to rewind back to you children's preschool times and to redo, but that is impossible. Pop cannot change anything, but hopefully I can show you both how much I love you until I am gone.

I cannot believe that you are hard to live with. You are smarter than a person has a right to be (gifted according to GISD), loving, sweet,creative and a born peacemaker. Those are precious traits not found in many folks. All marriages suffer from stresses from time to time (made worse by the addition of money worries, children, health issues, etc) but recalling what you loved about the person in the first place helps. Getting away to re-honeymoon a couple of days helps. Saying you are right and I was wrong, even if you know that is not the way it is, and then forgetting the disagreement helps.

Remember that I love you and am always here for you and that I do not even pretent to be neutral, I am always in YOUR corner.

Mama, I'm so lost

Mama, I'm struggling so hard this year. I don't know who I am. I don't who I'm supposed to be. I do so much because I think I'm supposed to. I've tried for so long to be everything that was expected. I feel I've lived my entire life trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and I've failed so miserably at all of it. I was just never good enough.

I'm going to be 44 this year. I married a good man. Kevin is a _good_ man and I think he loves me even for me and I'm not an easy woman to love. I'm so angry. Marriage is hard and who do I talk to? Is this normal for my age? Am I crazy? I can't talk about this out loud but I feel crazy. I'm so angry about things that are so many years ago. I can't seem to settle it. I can't talk to you about it because that seems so much like passing pain that none of us can do anything about. And we were never supposed to talk about these things. I loved Pop so much but I'm so angry at him. Why am I so angry about things that happened so many years ago? I know you didn't have the best relationship with your parents...so tell me..why am I having flashbacks to things that happened when I was a teenager? I don't want to be.

It drives me crazy, I could have asked. I never did...because I was obedient. To the best of my ability I was obedient. I had the chance when Pop was dying but I didn't ask. I was too scared to ask. I was afraid of of the answer. I was afraid he would tell me because it was my fault. I've tried. Maybe I've not been open enough myself but I'm bereft.

Big bomb, isn't it? Pretty much an unexpected bomb on you? But if I can't discuss this with my Mama (and you're the only one) then I'm pretty well bereft. How do I talk to you about life, about sex, about marriage? You were married nearly 40 years. I've been married for 7. Who else do I ask? You're my mama and I'm struggling. What do I do?

Missing from Website Part Deux

Where, oh where has my little girl gone? Oh where, oh where can she be? With her hair cut short and her lists so long, oh where can my little girl be? ( sing to the tune of My Little Dog)

Monday Stuff

I saw that you guys were getting rain and rejoiced with you that you were. We also got some and the resulting cooler temperatures. I understand what you are saying about the heat and unfortunately that might have more to do with your age than your health. I think that as you grow older extremes in temperature are more difficult to adjust to.

I awoke with energy to spare this morning and am planning to use it to make the house sparkle and to rework a square bed in the back yard and do some hedge trimming on the side yard. Maybe that is a sign that fall is on its way. I hope so as I am getting anxious to bring out my fall decorations. I like those way more than Christmas ones.

I plan to add a lot more hedges and grasses as I go along the garden path of life. Flowers in pots and tucked into pockets between hedges instead of big sweeps of flowers are much easier to manage.

I will let you know about Kent as I learn. He is scheduled for his first chemo treatment on Wednesday and I will probably call Toni Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning to see how they are doing.

I am getting the redecorate bug. I want to repaint the guest room and redo it and also the office. I guess I will start on the guest room. I found someone to give that big TV to on the stipulation that they come get it as I cannot move it. When that is gone, I can hopefully empty the room and get going on a new paint job, curtains, and rearrangement. I would love to have the king sized bed in that room as it is the larger room, but I do not think that I can pull that off my myself, so will leave the furniture as is.

Finally!

We finally got some rain late today and it's cooled off a bit. The weather channel is saying we should return to some norms late next week. That means mid to high 80s. Yay! Maybe I can finally get back to some of the garden and yard projects. It might also mean I'll have some energy to do other projects and be able to have something to chat with you about.

The heat this year has bothered me more than in my life. I don't know why but it's just left me feeling drained and exhausted. I'm healthy though I need to lose pounds but for the last 30 days I just haven't been able to get motivated to do anything.

How was Becoming Jane? I made the ultimate sacrifice and watched Ron Burgandy: Anchorman last night with Kev. Blech! Only true love lets you watch Will Farrel comedies. I so don't get his appeal. Finished rereading the Harry Potter series and it was enjoyable seeing how it all fit together and how she dropped hints in the earlier books. I started The Mermaid Chair but only a few pages into it.

Please be sure you let me know any news on Kent!

Last Minute Reprieve

Today was about 10 degrees cooler thanks to the hurricane in the Gulf. I hope that the cool made it as far north as KC. We have a slight chance for rain, but this time of year I believe it when I get wet.

I sewed all day for the most part and I am pretty tired right now. There was a lot of unsewing involved, but finally got it where I want it and ready for the next step.

Did you decide on a kitchen color? I have been watching HGTV which always gives me the redecorate angst. They make everything look so easy, which of course it is not.

Going to see Becoming Jane movie with Kay and Lois tomorrow about Jane Austin's life. I am reading THE THIRTEENTH TALE and really enjoying it. That is all my news. Exciting stuff, huh??

Kent saw the oncologist today and I am sure hoping that Toni lets me know what they said. I wanted to call, but decided against it tonight as I know they both feel like they have been through a wringer.

World melts! Film at 11!

When I left the house this morning, I was wincing at how shabby the yard looks. Only thing not totally dormant are the weeds and they seem to be holding a reunion of all their kind. But with the forcasted high at 103 today, I think I'll just have to close my eyes and pretend a bit longer.

I'm going to stop tonight at Sherwin-Williams and pick up some paint samples. I'm dying to paint the kitchen because it's also looking so shabby and I don't think I can stand it any more. I'm leaning to the Tuscan style yellows and reds for it but have those colors gotten too cliche? I'd go with a nice cool green but I feel like I use that color for everything. Maybe a French cottage blue theme?

Tuesday talk

Well, first I think I will dangle a carrot........Smith and Hawkin have a store in Dallas, so the next time you are here long enough, I will take you.

Secondly, I am reading The Thirteenth Tale and yes, I like it. I have been averaging about 10 to 15 minutes of yard work a day, which is about all you want to do. I am not sure which is worse the heat, or the humidity. Together the add up to staying indoors.

Good going on all that organization. I would love to get some of that done, but it will have to wait until fall/winter. Today I plan to clean this morning and sew this afternoon. My kind of day, but boring to most I suspect.

Mmm! Shopping!

Thanks for all the links. I got lost for a while in Smith and Hawkins and ordered lots of catalogs. I tingle at the thought of fall shopping!

It's still too hot to do any work outside though rumor is we'll get a break in the weather this weekend. I hope so! In the meantime, I'm baching it this week while Kevin is in Nashville and giving a good organizing to my craft room and putting some projects out to work on. I think it's going to take me one evening just to get everything sorted.

Did you ever find anything good to read?

Be Careful what you ask for

I am sure you have seen the garden links I sent you by now. These may be more than you wanted. The first one I sent was just because the cottage is so appealing and what I would like my yard to look like.

I have been sewing a lot because it is too hot to garden much. I have all next week free at this point. That does not happen often and I am hoping that I can use some time everyday to work on getting the backyard into the shape that I would like for it to be.

I have several ideas in mind for things that I want to add. I am going to have to proceed carefully however as I have been spending money right and left here lately and the stock market is not in the best shape, so will have to see just how many things I can do in the fall. Some may have to wait until spring.

A tip for you. My sink was acting like it wanted to stop up in the kitchen and I remembered seeing on DIY that you could put baking soda in the sink drain area and then add white vinegar to unstop sinks. I tried it and it worked like a charm. I put about 3/4 cup of soda and poured in a good splash of vinegar (I did not measure the vinegar). Not only did it work, but it was a lot of fun to watch of course. This only works for slight clogs I am sure, but I think that I will do it from time to time just to keep those drains running and the plumbers away. (Hopefully)
Time to get ready for church, so will look forward to hearing from you soon.

Your favorite garden geegaws?

I was browsing around the web tonight trying to find a good site or catalog site for garden "stuff"---gardening benches, tools, decorations. Everything garden that isn't a plant. I haven't found anything really satisfactory. Be nice to get some catalogs sent my way. Who are your favorites?

Cyperspace is a mystery

I checked several times for your post and it was not there, hence my last post. When I looked this morning there yours was. Where, oh where was it in the meantime??? Floating around in space somewhere I am guessing.

Good news about the cushions. I sure do hope they help and also about Kevin finally communicating how he was feeling pain wise. I hope the MRI and the chiropractor can bring about a huge improvement before Kevin has to go to Nashville.

I would wait and see on the forsynthia. See if cooler temps bring a revival. You can always yank it out. I need to get busy as I am off to a slow start this morning and am already running behind in my "to do" list.

Missing

I looked for the news on the blog that you mentioned in our call. Since I did not see any I am guessing either invisible ink, or someting came up that kept you busy elsewhere, or you were wiped out after your day, or a combination of all three.

Thanks for the ideas!

I hopped up to our Linens and Things and they didn't have the cushions you were talking about but they did have some pillows filled with the thermapedic material covered in microfiber. They were even on a terrific sale at $30 rather than the normal $80 (so if you're in the market!). I picked a couple up and hope they'll help.

Kev sold a couple of Pop's things, an air gun and the old satellite receiver, so I'll be putting a check in the mail tomorrow for $125.00. We still try with that stuff every chance we get!

My forsynthia has perhaps bit the big one. It was doing fine and within just the last 10 days, all the leaves have gone totally brown like they're dead. Of course it's hotter than a stovetop out there. Is that standard for them if heat stressed or is it just time to give up on a forsynthia in that spot?

I used your suggestion about 1-10 and it worked. He tells me he was about a 3. Of course then he tells me 2 hours later that he was trying to go tonight without any of the pain meds. I'm concerned he's in that much pain unless he has Vicodin in him as he can't take that long term and he's in Nashville all next week. We'll see what the chiropractor says tomorrow since he'll have the MRI results. Cross your fingers he can affect some good change soonly.

Monday Madness

I guess I am crazy, but I am planning on spending some time tomorrow doing more bed clean-up (kudzu removal for the most part). I notice that the trees and shrubs are dropping leaves as we too "can drink the air". That is a great description and I am already using it as you can see. I plan to sew in the afternoon as other than going by the bank for some money and buying some stamps, tomorrow is delightfully free of obligations.

Good idea waiting to mail the daylilies. September would be my choice time as it will begin to cool off a little and also we tend to get rain in Sept. I have my iris coming then too, as I told you.
I need to divide a lot of the iris that I have and also to move some of the variagated lirope as it needs thining in some areas.

I would like to find a wooden bird house that will fit onto a 4x4 inch stake. Pop cemented that one in the center of the flower bed and put the sprinkler on top. I have removed the sprinkler, but the pole looks silly without something on it. I think I will temporarily put a fence finial on top from Lowes and I want to paint the stake the green that I have used in various places in the yard.

Hope your week will pass quickly and that you will have an easy one. You did not mention Kev. Is his back better?

Sweat and toil!

I got all my new irises planted today and finally got the back bed all mulched. I had to give it up once the sun hit that part of the yard as you could drink the air today. I can't wait to see them bloom next year as they sure are some pretty ones. I saved the box to send you the daylilies I'm going to divide but I'll probably wait a couple of more weeks to do that. It's hot enough I'd be worried about the plants wouldn't do very well. This the right approach?

I was watching Gardening by the Yard this morning and he said you should resist the urge to water more often during the hot periods. According to Paul James, they'll try to fake you by drooping and dropping leaves but that's just to try to slow their growth as much as possible. I'll just have to grit my teeth and resist the urge to rush out with a hose every time I see one of my new plants looking droopy.

Good Make Up

Well, I got a double dose (Yea) ---a nice long reply and a phone call the same day, so consider yourself redeemed big time.

I am so very sorry to hear about Kevin, as back pain is no fun to deal with at all. I hope the steroid packs will take care of the problem. I am very fond of ice packs, I do not know if it helps the problem, but does wonders in the short time management of pain.

I try to give my plants extra water on those very hot muggy days early in the morning. I have convinced myself that it helps them get through the heat of the day better. I know I need extra water on very hot days. I do not know if this is correct, but it is my plan.

Yea, on the iris delivery. I asked for mine to ship in September, because of the heat and humidity here. We should still have several months of warm weather for them to get established. You being in a colder zone, should be great with an August delivery.

If you have not read the Jan Karon Mitford series, I think you will really enjoy them. It is not Harry Potter, but it is an ongoing story and there are some very interesting folks in that congreation.

After yard work this morning and housework this afternoon and sewing this evening, I am just about void of energy. Since I did not have take out, I am thinking some fruit and cheese sounds pretty good. I know feet up in front of the TV does.

I know you will take good care of Kevin, but do not fail to take good care of you too. I worry about those l-o-n-g hours day after day that you are doing. Love ya for sure!

I was lost.

But now I'm found!

I had an amazing case of lost time this week. I kid you not, it was Monday yesterday. It has to have been Monday because I can't account for the rest of the week. I know I sound like a broken record saying this but it's been another barn-burner this week and I've been pulling 12 hour work days. On the upside, my two new help desk positions got filled so we're pretty much back at full staff (yay!) once we get them trained (boo!) and I believe I see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the other black cloud news, we had to play car swap to get some work done on the car, the cable company out to fix the cable service (a fix that promptly broke another thing on the cable service and made Kevin's head asplode) and Kev's old back injury has really flared up on him again this week necessitating him doing a steroid pak. Thus the week has been a blur. Pants.

On the positive side of things, I got my Schreiner's iris order yesterday. I hope they'll be okay in the box until tomorrow when I can get them planted. I have to go look them all up again to remember when they bloom and what color they are. Great looking stock though! I have high hopes of making it to the nursery to spend my nursery coupons tomorrow as well. I need a few more perennials to fill things out here and there. Everything is just drooping. We've had no rain and it's been just a muggy jungle the last week. I'm never sure how much to water the plants when it gets dry...do they go dormant a bit and need less water or do they need more water when it's hot? It'd be easier if you'd send us some of your rain. All we've had are a few thunderstorms with spits of rain. The dark cloud storms where you decide not to water because surely it's going to rain...only to have it go pfft! pfft! for about 15 minutes and pass over.

I can't believe Molly has bagged ten possums. I can't believe you have ten possums! We should rent her out to my neighbor who has a gopher problem. Poor Faye isn't much of a hunter. She gives it her all for the squirrels every morning but hasn't managed one yet. She settles for laying on the back deck and growling at them in the trees. The only thing we get is the occasional bird donation from Gidget. We used to get rabbit donations but I think they've finally figured out that the corner yard is a Bad Place and are informing the other rabbits.

Hey, you'd recommended another Rodale book a while back that I thought was in my Amazon wish list. I went to order it and found it's not in my wish list. You remember what it was? I've been rereading the Harry Potter series starting with book 4 (I don't have copies of 1-3). She really did have all that plotted out. I'm catching all kind of references now where I go "ahhah! That's where the groundwork was laid for that one." Good stuff! I wish I could find another series as enjoyable to read now.

Missing from Website

Newsflash: Missouri girl is missing on blog site! If you have seen this busy girl contact Dragonfly at Shovelload immediately!!!!

Mighty Hunter Strikes Again

I was in the garden room this morning about 5 drinking coffee as I am nearly every morning, when Molly popped through the doggie door with an adult possum in her mouth. I said "Molly" with some emphasis and a "What do you think you are doing tone of voice". She dropped the possum and hightailed it back outside. Naturally I was barefoot (my natural state most of the time), so I ran to get my shoes on and grabbed the broom and dust pan for some possum removal. When I got into the garden room, I found to my surprise that the possum had been playing possum and was now up walking.

I shooed it toward the back door and reached carefully over its head and unlatched the back door and encouraged it outside with the broom. It dropped right by the door in another play dead pose. I could not go outside without stepping over, or even worse on it. I knew that unless it got up and made a dash for freedom, Molly would encounter it very shortly.....which she did. This time she was not fooled by the possum's act and dispatched it quickly and efficiently.

This necessitated a trip to the storage shed for my snow shovel and a possum removal in the dark. This brings the count to 10 in the last two months. Were it not for my fearless little hunter I would be swimming in possums literally as we got another 1 and 1/2 inches of rain to add to the inch we got yesterday.

Things are never dull around the old homestead!!!

Confused

I posted a reply to your last message which shows up in edit, but not on the blog. Why is this?